The Balancing Act

Not like I have many posts here nor many followers, but this is therapeutic for me; a way to just let the fingers flow across the keys and let the brain just go.

As you can see, it has been nearly a year since my last post. Before getting into why, I shall preface with a quote (I do love my quotes), "Sometimes we do the things we have to do so that we can do the things we want to do."

For the first 4 or 5 years of my 30s, I had about as little stability as you can imagine. This coming from the girl who had worked her ass off in her 20s, putting in long hours and climbing the corporate ladder to positions of increasing responsibility. Shortly before my 30th birthday, I felt the strain on my soul of all my toil. Was I enjoying life? Was I sprinting through it always on the look out for my next hurdle?

"You never know what you have until it is gone."

And just like that, I walked away from a great career with a lot of potential to venture out without the comfort of a Corporate AMEX or a big bonuses. Just me. In the world. Trying to figure out the balance. The yin and yang. The black and white. The good and the bad.

I struggled through the uncertainties of not knowing if I would be able to pay my bills, yet I felt a certain degree of utter freedom; the first in a long time.

Creeping into my mid-30s, I found the freedom to be stifling, strangely. It didn't seem at that age that freedom was the thing to pursue so much as my security was. And while I had my freedom, I didn't have much security.

After soul searching (and mounding bills), I went back to what I know: Corporate America. I am good at it. I am smart. I am ambitious.

And while the days of total freedom have passed, I cherish my memories. And when things get stressful- and they always do- I remember my choice. My choice was to seek security in a balanced way. Good for the soul.

Time has elapsed. A blur of events as if watching my life on fast forward. But yet I have taken a step back to breathe for a moment. Security and freedom can coexist when you nurture them. And that is what I need to do. I seek balance. I demand balance.

My journey. My destiny. My final outcome.